last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
