i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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