So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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