If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
