God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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