Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize