I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize