If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
