Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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