I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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