oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
