i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she smelled like a LAN party
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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