She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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