u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
