is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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