There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize