His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
