hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
