does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
