Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
