The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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