I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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