So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
