Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we're making bets on your personal life
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
