Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
