it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
