dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Rumble strips road head = magical
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
