Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
