Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
