I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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