Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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