Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
