Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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