sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
