sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
