it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
