lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
