Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Congratulations! We have a period
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