mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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