Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The Olympian is in my bed
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
