Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
