It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
