All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
