Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize