If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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