The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
