that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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