He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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