i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
