Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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