did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
