Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So vagazzling was a success
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
