I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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