I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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