Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Floor bacon is actually really good
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
