no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
