Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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