I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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