We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
