I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
