I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
A bitchslap is in order.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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