Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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