This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
