North Korea, Best Korea!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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