I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The power of my boobs compel you
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
