already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
