Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
