"it" just moved
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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